So i am like the worse person at keeping up with a journal. My life has been such a mess in last few months.

Shortly after i wrote my last journal entry I started having really bad back pain. I really didn’t think to much about it. I just firgured at got it from lifting something. Anyway it didn’t get any better. In fact it got worse.

Then i started throwing up and running a fever. So finally i told my mom and she took me to see the doctor. Well my doctor check me over and took some blood which was not fun. I hate needles. Anyway my blood count was messed up and they found blood in my urine. So she sent me to the hosiptal. Once their i got checked in.

I got put threw a million different tests. My doctor could not firgure out what was wrong with me at all. All the test came back normal. My doctor things their might be something wrong with my kidney but all the tests came back normal.However i was still running a fever and had back pain and some blood in my urine. I hated being in the hospital.

Finally after 2 months i was let out of the hospital. However since then i had to go back quite a few times with more blood in my urine. I hate being sick. I had to quit my nanny job. Which i loved. I loved those kids and miss them alot. I have talked to them on the phone a few times but i really miss them.

Then a few weeks after i got home from the hospital. I woke up one morning and found my beautiful black lab Courtney unable to walk. So my mom and I rushed her to vet and the vet told us she had a stroke. So i had to put her to sleep. It was one of the hardest things i have ever had to do. I was devasted to lose Courtney. I loved her so much.

My mom keep asking me if I wanted another dog. I keep saying no because it just hurt so much. Then late one night when i couldn’t sleep because on the pain. I saw this show on Tv about dogs needing homes. They had this really cute basset hound on their and starting thinking about adopting some older dogs that needed homes.

So I talked to my mom and she found a woman who takes care of Basset hounds that have no homes. So I talked to her one the phone a couple of times. She was so nice. Anyway My mom and I went up to her farm to see the dogs and to adopt one.

Once we got their and she opened the door 12 barking tail wagging basset came running towards me. I ended up sitting on the floor petting and getting licked by all these dogs. So of course i couldn’t just adopt one. So i asked my mom and she agreed that we could adopt 3. So the lady said why don’t you spend some time with them and see which ones you life. So i spent a couple of hours playing and petting these wonderful dogs but it the end their were 3 that just seemed to fit with me.

First their is Rosie. She was this cute little brown and white basset who just stuck to me the whole day. She never left me side. So i knew i had to take her. Then their was Walker. I was sitting in a chair and walker came up to me and jumped right into my lap and licked my face. Then he just laid down on top of me and didn’t move for awhile. So he came home with me as well. Lastly their is Daisy. Daisy was a bit distant at first. Then she came up to me and i rubbed her ears. The lady was really shocked because Daisy didn’t normally come up to people who didn’t know to get petted. So Daisy came home with us as well.

So finally we headed home. I really wanted to take all of the dogs home with me but couldn’t. I was really nervous that the dogs wouldn’t like are house. However i didn’t need to worry Rosie, Waler,Daisy have settled into the house very well. They are now 3 very loved very spoiled dogs. I love them alot. They helped me deal with being sick and deal with losing Courtney as well. They are wonderful dogs. The follow me every where I go. Also walker has learned that when i go into the kitchen it usually means it’s time for food and he’s right their waiting for his bite.That is Rosie in my icon.

I hope everyone had a nice christmas and new year. I spent christmas with my mom and my dogs. I got some nice stuff. I got digital camera from my mom. I got some other nice stuff as well. I got an MP3 player from Heather.So i have been taking lots of picture of different things. Mostly i have been taking picture of my dogs. I post some later.

Congrats to nia on the birth of her son Dylan. He is a real cutie.
So i just wanted to give you an update on my life.I am going to try and update as much as I can. I don’t know how offen that will be as I can’t sit very long at the computer as i become tired and i begin to hurt. So if you want to remove me as a friend. I totally understand. I love reading your guys journals. I just don’t always feel like writing in mine.

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So last nightg totally sucked. I get to that in a moment. I hope everyone one had a nice valentines day. I have never really been a big fan on valentines day. I haven’t had anyone to share it with for awhile. Since Heather and I are together i wanted to get her something nice. So for week i looked for the perfect gift. I finally found this really nice braclet. So i got it for her.

So I got woke up early saturday morninng by mom saying wake up Kate their something for you. So once i woke up enough to be able to think straight. My mom gave me this long box. Inside it were 3 pink roses and a note that said for my sweetheart on valentines day love heather. I love roses.

I called heather to thank her. That night Heather came over and we watch NBA allstar saturday night stuff. I gave heather her braclet. When she opened the box with it in it. She just looked so happy. She put it on and then hugged and kissed me. Then heather gave me my gifts. She got me this beatiful locket and a giant stuff  bear and a silver heart shaped box. I love locket. I haven’t taken it off yet.

Last night when heather came over.I knew something was wrong because she wasn’t smiling. I don’t think i have not seen Heather never not smiling.She said we half to talk. I of course thought she was going to break with me.

She took my hand and told me that she got a call from seattle. It was her job. She has to go back to seattle for work. She was only saying her in kansas untill her aunt got better.

She’s a nurse. Hopefully this is just temporary. Heather wants to move here to Kansas to be with me. Which made me really happy to hear. She just has to get the money together. So she can move here.

I was just so hurt when she told me. I mean I knew it was going to happen. I just i was just thinking if i didn’t think about it. It would not happen. So she is leaving Thursday.

I want to do something special for her. I am just not sure what yet. It just makes me feel so sad when i think of her leaving. Of course it could be worse at least i can talk to her on the phone and email her. Still i am going to miss her alot.

My grandma is getting better. She starting to be able to use her left hand a little. When i was getting ready to leave her today. She said I love you. I nearly started crying right their as those were the first words she had spoken since her stroke. I just hugged her and told her i loved her to.

I finally got my site hosted. The wonder Car is hosting me here at Dramatic-personae.net so if your looking for hosting i highly recommed Car. She has some great prices.

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Well i’m back to blogging. I know i am not been good at writing lately. Things have been diffcult for my last few months.

A few days after i made my last entry my grandma had a stroke. It was not as serious as the one she suffered two years ago but it is still effecting her. She can’t use her left arm or walk. So she is back in the hospital. So i have been so busy going to the hospital to see her and help her with her rehab.

She is starting to get better but her doctor isn’t sure if she get the use of her left arm or walk again. It is so sad for me to see her like this.
Things haven’t been all bad for me. I have a new girl friend. Her name is heather and we meet at the hospital where my grandma is.

One day i was comming out of my grandma room and noticed this cute girl getting a coke. So i went over to her and said hi. That was really weird for me because i usually don’t go up to people i don’t know and start talking to them.

Anyway we starting talking. It turns out we halve alot in common. Since then Heather and I have been meeting at the hospital and having dinner together. Her aunt is recoving from surgey.

I really like Heather alot but i wasn’t sure if she felt that way about me. So a couple of days ago. We were having lunch and Heather said to me “So you want to go out on a date. I nearly chocked on my chicken. Then heather said listen if you don’t want to it’s cool. I said no i want to. I just wasn’t sure you liked girl. Heather said yes and i really like you.

So heather and i have been out a few times in the last two weeks. We went to movies a couple of times. One night we said home and just watched movies on the couch together. I am even getting heather to watch Nba games with me. When we first meet she said she hated sports but slowly she has come around.

Heather has been great for me. She has helped me so much dealing with my grandma. She is always their for me. She always willing to listen to me. Which is really sweet.

It’s nice to have someone to care about me like heather does.

So i hope everyone had a nice christmas. I got some nice stuff.

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Hello and welcome to Scarlet Angel. This is the place where i have all my graphic examples. So please look around and please request.

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Hi remeber me. Yeah i know i haven’t been updating all that much. I have been in the hospital.

A few days after i blogged i started getting really bad stomach pain. I just firgured that i had the flu or something. So i didn’t tell anyone i was hurting. Till a few days later when they got so bad and i was throwin up.

So my mom took me to the Er. The doctor i got threw was really nice. She asked where the pain was how long i had throwing up. She took blood. Then she wanted to put me in hospital because she wasn’t sure what was wrong with me.

So for the last few weeks i have been in the hospital. I had a million different tests run on me. I think the doctor took a gallon of blood from me. Then today my doctor said she still wasn’t sure what was wrong with me.

So she sent me home. I have this new medicine i am taking which seems to be working. Still i am not feeling to good but it’s better than it was. I talked to the lady who i am working as a nanny for. She still wants me to work for her family. Her kids like me. I like her kids as well. They sent me cars when i was in the hosipital. So hoefully i will be going back to work tuesday.

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Well i am finally back from my long and unplanned hiatus. Okay i should tell everyone what happened to me.

It all started a new years eve. I got a call from my aunt that my cousin Kelly had been in a terrible car accident in Seattle. She had somebroken bones and a head injury.

Kelly and grew up together. We lived ten mintues apart from each other growing up. So we have always been very close.  I am the god mother to her 3 kids.

So i went to Seattle to help take care of her 3 kids. Who are ages Six four and two. So for the last couple of months i have been living in Seattle taking care Kelly’s three kids and helping kelly get better.

Her kids are great most of the tim but some times they get so loud and her two year favorite word is no. She answers everything no. It doesn’t matter what you ask her she answers no. Her six year was my little helper. She was always falling me around and asking if she could help me do stuff. I thought it was so cute.So i am finally back home. I miss kelly and her kids now but i am glad to be home.

My grandma finally got out of the hospital a few days ago. She staying with my mom and me. I love having her here with me. My birthday is the end of the month. Opening day for the baseball season. Anyway i just wanted to let everyone i wasn’t dead. Now i am off to bed.

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Sorry i haven’t post like i said  i would things have just been so hard for me right now. I just don’t know anymore. It seems like everything is comming down on me at once and i don’t know what to do.

it all started almost two weeks ago when my grandmother had open heart surgey. The doctor told my mom and me that the surgey should take about 7 hours. So my mom and i sat their in the hospital waiting room and waited. I cried alot and drank a alot of coffee. I just keep thinking about setting in that same waiting room last year when my dad had his stroke and wondering if i would ever see him alright again and i never did. I was so scared i was going to lose my grandma.

Finally the doctor came out and told my mom and me how my grandma was. She had made it threw the surgey but she lost alot of blood and they had trouble getting her heart started again. I asked the doctor if she was going to live and the doctor said he wasn’t sure. I about passed out then i was so upset. It was so hard for me to see her hooked up to all of those machines.

So since then i have been spending as much time as i can at the hosiptal with my grandma. I their with my mom during visiting hours. She’s getting better. It’s just really slow for her recovering. At least now she can talk to me. Although it’s hard for her to ask anyone to do anything for her. She use to doing everything herself and now she needs help with stuff. I like helping take care of my grandma.

Then last night about 2:00am we got a call from the hospital saying my grandma heart had stopped and that we should come their right away. So my mom and I hurried to the hospital. I was a wreck. I was so scared that she wouldn’t be alive when we got to the hospital. When we got their the doctor told us that she was stable. I was happy. Still it scared me so bad.

I haven’t been eating to well lately and i feel awfull.

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Well i am back blogging. I know i haven’t blogged in a awhile but things have been really rough for me lately. My grandma is in the hospital.

She been their since two weeks ago with heart promblems. Now her doctor says she may need open heart surgey. Her doctor said he will now tommorrow is she needs heart surgey.My grandma is in her late 80ies so surgey would be really dangerous for her.

I am so scared right now. I am very close to my grandma. I just can’t lose her not after losing my dad. I don’t think i could handle losing her right now.It would break my heart. I have been spending all my time at the hospital with her. it’s hard for me to see my grandma in the hospital so sick. It scares me…

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I was given the letter G by offspeed. Here is how it works: I commented for a letter, she gave me the letter G and I was supposed to list my top ten songs starting with said letter.
1)Got The Life by KoRn
2)Good God by Korn
3)Good Morning Beautiful by Deftones
4)Go by Pearl Jam
5)Gold Mine Gutted by Bright Eyes
6)Gigantic by Pixies
7)Give Me Novacaine by Green Day
8)Ghost Bitch by Sonic Youth
9)God by Tori Amos
10)Good Fortune by PJ Harvey
If you would like a letter leave me a comment

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So today i watching the tigers game on Tv. I wanted to throw something at my tv. So the less said about the tigers game the better.

Then tonight i went to baby sit my neibors daughter. I really enjoy baby sitting Nicole she 8 and really sweet girl. Although some times she talks to much and she never wants to got sleep when it’s her bed time. Like i put her to bed and a few seconds later she out of her bed room wanting a drink of water. So i give her a drink of water. So then she back out her bed like a few minutes later telling me she not tired. It take like an hour to get her to bed. She’s a great kid though.

So when i got home tonight my mom was waiting for me. Which is odd because she is usually in bed. Since i don’t get home untill like 1 am. Anyway she said we have to talk. So of course i thought that something happened to my grandma. So i’m like upset and she grandma was fine.

She told me that she got a phone call from this guy named Chris. So i was like who is Chris. And she said He’s your brother. I couldn’t believe it. I mean i never even thought i had a brother. So i asked her how. She told me that before my mom and dad got together my dad had a kid with this lady. They were never married but my dad knew about Chris but hardly ever saw him.

I was shocked I mean the idea of me having brother i never meet was weird for me. I asked my mom why he called and she said he wanted to meet me. So tuesday night i am going out to dinner with Chris and his girlfriend mrya.

Wish me luck. I am so nervous. Part of me is really exicted about haveing a brother the rest of me is scared about meeting him. It’s just strange to have family i never known

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